So now, what?

Mia - 6th April 2010 -

Shattered.

The walls that I built around me for so long with hands so strong were now tumbling down. Shattered and broken. It was so hard, strong and old. Probably too old that when a finger poked it, the walls cracked and at last fell down. One by one, slowly. But it was too fast for me. Too fast for me that I wasn't able to pick them all up and build another even stronger walls. Now I was exposed. With no covers, no protection and no more rejection.

Broken.

I was too naive back then. So when I studied about life some more, I realized I needed rules within me. Inside me, for my own future. And I made them. Those strict, unknown rules. Written with blood inside my body, written with heart that goes with the remedy, and the mind that fractured with frequencies. It has been a long time too since I obeyed my own strict rules, my only own and no one else. I didn't let anyone even my own mind interjected with it. But now... it had been breaking. Broken. The rules were no longer rules. Lines striking through it, erasing. My walls were tumbling down, and my rules were broken. What now?

Feeling.

Since my two protection for future had been crushing and deleted. I now have nowhere to go. No more looking down because of my rules, no more saying no because of my walls. So now what? I had been keeping in track with everyone around me. Nothing special happened. But that person came into my life so suddenly. And look what happened. No more walls, no more rules. A person who dared to step into my walls and stabbed my lame rules. Yes, it was supposed to be strict, but now it's lame. Now I had not reasons to avoid, no words could escape my mouth. That person, is, now inside me, and becoming my walls. Give me back my feelings. Yes, the feelings that I adored in the past, but had been afraid of in the presents, and now desired for it in the future. The feelings.

My walls are tumbling down. My rules are broken. My feelings are back.
So now, will you tell what this meant?