I'm Done.

Mia - 19th June 2010 -

At this time of night, where I sat alone in my room, my mind couldn't help but to begin thinking about everything that happened around me, rewinding the days back, the events that occurred, logically or not, and those hours I've just passed through. Didn't matter if they were useless. It seemed like I stayed, unmoved, whilst the world was spinning around me like the unstoppable ticking of the wall clock's needles. Where outside I could feel my self becoming number as the minute moved on, the chill crawling beneath my vulnerable skins, but the blood inside my veins were burning hot, still flowing through every cells just like the strongest waves of the ocean, the nonstop streaming of the river's head and the uncontrollable waterfalls.

I don't believe with whatever you give to me anymore. I'm done. I'm stranded here, cornered to the edge, waiting for the perfect momentum to fade. I don't believe about going to the bright, orange sun anymore. I'm done. It used to be able enlightened the dark corner of my heart, but it is my biggest fear now to let my iris catches it's rays. I stopped hoping and waited for the darkness to conquer me. There's just no more love here, so why should I live when there's only pain here. If ever the happiness is created before, I wasn't sure why there should be black, when white could be a better fun, a better joy. I'm done. See you all someday, until we meet again.

I'm just going to go home now, to where I originally come from. Without rancor, I'll accept my losing, the feeling of being defeated. Not wanting to call my self a coward, because I've tried. I've tried everything with all that I have, sacrificing everything I have left. Yet there's just no other way. This could be the last, could be the first. I just wanted to go home and be safe there, lying with all soils, dead plants and ashing animals around me. Without rancor, someday someone will salute my winnings. Because I'm done.

I'm done.