On that particular day, everything and everyone was so black.
[ Sunday, May 17th 2010. ]
I opened my eyes again and there it was ;
There were black stones, black soils, black shirts, black skirts, black heels, black coats, black sunglasses, black cars, black umbrellas, black mascaras, black clouds, black skies, black roses, black leaves, black feelings and even black crows.
I could still feel the wet tingling coldly on my cheeks. I clutched the front, silver ribbon on my knee-long, black dress and shifted my legs on the ground, exchanged places. There was someone with long, black coat and shiny, white hair talking before us, some kind of prayer with such a sorrow and sad voice. Wasn't sure if I was becoming deaf at that moment, because I couldn't hear any words he said, I just lazily stared at his moving, wrinkling hands.
At my right side was my parents, hugging each other, my mother looked too pale under her thin scarfs that covered her hair, and father was always the tough looking one, not a single tear was seen beneath his brown-tinted spectacles. Looking to my left was my long line of siblings. There were my two older brothers, standing tall, hands folded at their back, legs apart, just like scouting boys. My older sister was sobbing on the corner, her boyfriend loyally stayed beside her, holding onto her tightly, giving him what I would like to call the best support for a situation like this. And a pain strike the core of my heart so suddenly.
I shut my eyes again quickly, clutching the ribbon tight, biting my lips as the sour tears flowed past my mouth. I heard silences when I stood there shutting my eyes. And felt the crowds began to gather around to the tombstones right a few feet in front of me. I heard their whispers, and their movement as they threw the black and white flowers towards the grave. Trying as hard as I could, I failed to stop from bursting. My legs were hurting now with the black heels my mother asked me to wear for this special day. I shook my head, sincerely not wanting to be here in this desolated, painful, scary place.
And I took my choice as everyone began to greet everyone and telling their non-chalant condolences. I hated it, I never would like to hear those fake words of pity and sorrow. And I hate those people saying that they knew how it feels because for real they didn't and they wouldn't. I felt sick here. Like my throat were hurting from not screaming. I felt the cold wind from my back, blowing my hair to the front. I backed off for a little, still shutting my eyes.
"Mia?" I heard my sister calling me. I kept my eyes on the ground, and smirked. I knew they could imagine what I was feeling inside, if there was any feeling left at all. My siblings were now lining up in front of me, blocking my views from the grave and everyone else that I hated to see. I felt glad. Still smirking over their worried faces, I quickly stepped out of my black heels and took it from the ground to hand it over to my sister. I smiled to each of them before pivoting around to quickly ran out of the frightening place and out of those dead bodies. I ran and ran until my feet were numb and I felt it was hard to breath. I stopped, and collapsed on the ground. Tears kept flowing from my eyes and when I turned around to my back, I saw that I was far away from his tombstones and grave.
But as I opened my eyes again, I still saw them;
There were black stones, black soils, black shirts, black skirts, black heels, black coats, black sunglasses, black cars, black umbrellas, black mascaras, black clouds, black skies, black roses, black leaves, black feelings and even black crows.
[ Sunday, May 17th 2010. ]
On that particular day, everything and everyone was so black.
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